I had a plan. I had a really good plan all written out. I even wrote it in pen. It was perfect on paper. And I missed the mark! I didn’t meet my deadlines, I didn’t hit the target or even come close. Is this just me? Your goal could have been clean eating, gym time, cleaning that closet, organizing your life, or whatever. You had the plan on paper but something happened in the execution.
Here is what happened to me. I had a calendar full of blog posts I wanted to research and write in October, you can check them out here. I had 17 mysteries from history that I honestly thought I could conquer. I didn’t do it. I finished 8 out of the 17…still good but not the home run I was expecting. But rather than focusing on the accomplishment, I focused on the stuff I didn’t do. My mind was full of negativity and frustration.
You should have done this!
Why did you waste time on that?
If you were better, smarter, faster you could have finished.
I didn’t pull back and see the bigger picture. I loved the research and writing, it just took longer than expected. We also had some personal family stuff happen, I attended a conference, we promoted our first book in several schools, and we had an unexpected home repair. We had things that happened despite it not being written neatly on my calendar. It was good to take time for all those things. But rather than see all the good…all I thought was negativity. As if I should have been superwoman and still met my goal no matter what else was happening.
It is important to pause at this point because we are at an important fork in the road.
I learned something important. I am not very kind to myself. I probably speak to myself more than any other person on the planet and I am mean to myself. Ok, very mean. What bothered me is that I had never thought about it before. Like ever.
It was a strange revelation. I like being kind to others. Why am I not kind to me? It reminded me of that verse in James.
People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely my brothers and sisters, this is not right!
James 3:7-10 (NLT)
We can be quick to read this verse and only think about the words we speak out loud. I don’t think this verse is just about those words. I think you can apply it to words you speak to yourself as well.
Take a pause here and think about how you spoke to yourself today.
…
…
Ok, time’s up. How was it?
It is amazing what we say to ourselves and we do it without even thinking about it. We can trash our appearance, a conversation we had, how we did this or that. We wage mental war on ourselves. Why are we so unkind when we make a mistake? Are we any less deserving of words of kindness and grace?
My friends, we are in a battle against a very real enemy, one who doesn’t want us to win. Every time we speak negativity over ourselves, we are giving up ground. Our enemy wants us to be discouraged, to be depressed, to be ashamed, to be afraid to try again.
Think about this…when we are in those mindsets, we are not effective, we are not moving forward, and we are certainly not winning the battle. And the enemy celebrates his victory. I don’t want to be the reason he is celebrating! I want to take a stand over how I speak to myself.
I am not naive enough to think I will never be disappointed with myself or bothered that I missed the mark. I will. But I won’t stay there.
I will remember I am not in charge and plans change.
The Lord will work out his plans for my life— for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
Psalm 138:8a
I will speak words of kindness and grace over my life.
Kind words are like honey- sweet to the soul and healthy for the body
Proverbs 16:24
I will be a self-encourager.
Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
Ephesians 4:29
I will speak life over myself.
When you speak healing words, you offer others fruit from the tree of life. But unhealthy, negative words do nothing but crush their hopes.
Proverbs 15:4
Maybe this post was just for me? Or maybe it spoke to you too? Leave me a comment and let me know. I am praying you were encouraged and strengthened. I am praying that you give yourself some grace and that you speak kindness and life over yourself. I am praying that you remember these truths.
- You are lovely and a princess of the King of Kings.
- You are dearly loved and so special.
- You were created with a plan and a purpose.
- You are seen and you are heard.
- You are a world changer!
Thanks so much for spending time with me on my blog! I appreciate it! Take some time and check out what I learned about Amelia Earhart, Jack the Ripper, The Amber Room, The Dancing Plague, Agatha Christie, Bermuda Triangle, the British Columbia feet, DB Cooper, and the Nazca Lines. Plus, I am still writing about mysteries from history so keep checking back.
Till next time,
Kimberly