Chapter 2 – Jack’s Wax-man
I MUST BE HALLUCINATING, Jack thought. Or dreaming. Jack pinched himself, unsure why but that’s what they always did in movies to prove they weren’t dreaming, so that’s what Jack did. Clearly, he wasn’t dreaming because the pinch hurt. Standing two inches tall on his dresser was a tiny man made entirely of earwax!
Jack’s first instinct was “KILL IT NOW!” Jack grabbed a whiffle ball bat, that he normally pretended was a lightsaber, and whacked the tiny wax-man flat.
The cotton swab lay next to the waxy smudge on his dresser. Jack slowly lifted the bat from the dresser, and the top half of the smooshed wax-man stuck to the bat, while the bottom half clung to the dresser.
Jack lifted the bat up to his nose and gave it a sniff. What? You’re surprised he sniffed the little earwax-man? You would too, trust me. Jack sniffed the top half of the wax-man. Yep, it smelled like earwax.
“How bizarre!” Jack pondered aloud.
“Did you find something growing in there?” Betty asked as she re-entered Jack’s room.
“WHAT?!” Jack quickly hid the bat behind his back. He looked down at his dresser for the bottom half of the wax-mam, but it was gone! The only thing remaining was the nasty, used cotton swab.
“You know. Potatoes! Did you find any growing in your ears?” Betty smirked as she picked up the used swab off Jack’s dresser and inspected its waxy ends.
“Oh! Uh, nope! No potatoes.” Jack laughed nervously as Betty eyed her son suspiciously. Before she could reply to Jack’s odd behavior, Kevin’s voice echoed down the hallway from his room.
“MOM! Have you seen my pimple cream?”
“It’s on your dresser where you left it!” Betty yelled back, tossing the swab into Jack’s trash bin scurrying out of the room.
“No that’s my zit cream! I’m talking about my pimple cream. You know the one that looks like makeup?”
“You mean your concealer?” Betty’s voice faded as she shuffled down the hallway.
Jack looked back down at the dresser. Surely, he wasn’t hallucinating, was he? But the half-splatted earwax was no longer on the dresser. Jack pulled the wiffle ball bat from behind his back and inspected it. No wax there either.
Maybe Jack was hallucinating. Maybe he wasn’t getting enough sleep. Maybe he’s been watching too many scary movies and playing video games with monsters and zombies in them.
Nah, that can’t be it!
“Speaking of video games…” Jack said aloud to nobody. He picked up his Play-Box controller, plopped down on his gaming chair, and resumed his Galaxy Goobers vs Zero-Gravity Zombies game. It was paused on a boss-fight. He un-paused the game and tried his best to win this battle.
He failed, of course, because everyone knows if your mom makes you pause a game in the middle of a boss-fight, you will not succeed in the battle once you resume it.
Moms, if you’re reading this, please, please, PLEASE don’t make your child pause their game during a boss-fight. It’s simply a no-win situation. Thank you for your consideration in this matter–The Narrator.
As the Level 4 Zombie Boss released its final blow on his hero, Zack threw the controller across the room in a rage-quit that lasted a full 10 seconds. During this brief tantrum he vowed to never play that game again, or any Play-Box games. He would sell that blasted game console and use the money to buy an X-Station instead, which was a superior gaming console with better graphics and a game library that could not be matched.
This was something Zack did every time he lost a boss-fight, or got stuck on a level, or couldn’t solve a puzzle, or just got bored with his Play-Box.
- Throw the controller across the room.
- Vow to never play that game again.
- Make plans to buy a better gaming console with superior features guaranteeing success in his gaming.
- Rally.
- Pick up the controller and, if it’s not broken, resume gameplay.
After his tantrum, Zack picked up his Play-Box controller to resume his gameplay. As the boss on the screen appeared once again, Zack began mashing buttons as quickly as he could to claim his victory on this level. But rather than mashing buttons, it felt like mushing buttons. Zack looked at his controller to find it covered in earwax!
3 Mak’s Plaque
Mackenzie Amber Kennedy leaned over her perfect bathroom sink smiling at her perfect reflection in her perfect mirror. Everything about Mackenzie’s life was perfect. She lived in the perfect home, had perfect parents, even a perfect little sister whom she loved dearly.
The only imperfect things about Mackenzie’s life were her teeth, which would soon be perfect as well, once she got these dreaded braces off. Only 6 more weeks to go and everything about Mackenzie Amber Kennedy would be perfectly perfect!
“MAK! Did you remember to floss your teeth?” Mackenzie’s father called from the kitchen. Even though her name was Mackenzie, everyone called her Mak. Not only was it a shortened version of her first name, it was also her initials. At first Mackenzie hated the nickname, which was given to her by her arch frenemy Virginia Rotterdam, after Mackenzie started calling her Virgie Rotten Dame. Virgie retaliated by unleashing a whole slew of nicknames for Mackenzie:
- Big Mac
- Macken-chee-zie
- Holy Mackerel
- Elbow Macaroni
To be continued…
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