“It is your turn to revive him, Gabriel.”
“My turn? No, I’m pretty sure it’s your turn.”
“You are mistaken. I revived him the last time. Do you not remember how, after I revived him last, you said, ‘Be careful not to pop him!'”
Gabriel chuckled at his own joke. “That’s right. That, my friend, was funny!”
“So, you see,” Michael ignored his protégé, “it is your turn to revive him.”
Gabriel sighed and knelt beside the unconscious man. He pinched the man’s nose, placed his lips on the man’s lips, and blew. The man’s chest rose slightly, then his stomach tightened. Gabriell bolted upright and grimaced. “I think he vurped into my mouth. Disgusting!”
“Vurped?” Michael asked. “I am unfamiliar with that word.”
Gabriel scrubbed his mouth with a piece of his tunic. “You know. It’s like a burp, but it carries with it a little—”
“You need not continue.”
Gabriel continued to scrub his mouth as he watched the unconscious man breathe softly. “That should keep him for a few more hours. How much longer do you think it’ll be?”
“We are getting close. Perhaps another twenty minutes.”
“That’s good,” Gabriel replied. “Three days inside this ‘thing’ is plenty. I’m still not sure why the Father wanted us to save him, anyway. This man was in blatant disobedience to the Father’s command. Although I sort of understand why.”
“You understand disobedience?” Michael looked puzzled and slightly worried.
“Not the disobedience. That was clearly wrong. I’m saying I understand why he ran away. Those people the Father wanted him to speak to are bad news. I’ve seen some of the things they have done to people. They are some of the vilest people on the planet. I’m talking pre-flood evil. I understand why he would tuck his tail and run.”
“I don’t think Jonah fled because he was afraid,” Michael said. “I think he fled because he did not want the Father to forgive the Ninevites. He hated them.”
“Oh,” Gabriel pondered this insight, then said, “Well, I can understand why he hated them, too!”
“You seem to be ‘understanding’ humans a lot today,” Michael said. “Should I be worried?”
“Not at all. Think about it. The Father has established His chosen people, Jonah being one of them. They are set apart from the rest of humanity, though not perfect, still chosen. The Ninevites are not among the Father’s chosen, and they don’t even believe in Him. That, plus how cruel they are, why shouldn’t the Father wipe them out? And just to clarify. I’m not condoning Jonah’s behavior. I’m just wondering why the Father sent Jonah to them in the first place.”
Michael sighed, “I feel you are in the same boat as Jonah, so to speak.”
“Or out of it in this case,” Gabriel tried to deflect the lecture that was coming his way with a bit of humor.
“We must remember how, though broken by sin, these Ninevites were created in the image of the Father, and He wants them, like all humanity, not to perish, but to come to repentance.”
“I understand, and I completely agree. But these are terrible people, ranking up there with Sodom and Gomorrah, which, by the way, you and I—”
“I am aware of what you and I had to do there, and I emphasize, had to do,” Michael said solemnly, “but those people had multiple chances to repent of their evil deeds. We were sent on that mission as a final result, to keep their wickedness from spreading.”
“And how much more grace will the Ninevites get before they—”
“This is their final warning. This is why the Father is insistent on Jonah delivering this message, and Jonah’s message is clear. Repent within 40 days or…judgment.”
The pair of angels sat in silence as they recalled the judgment they had brought before and the potential judgment that would happen to the Ninevites, at their hands, if Jonah’s mission failed. After a moment, Jonah began to stir and mutter.
“Is he talking in his sleep?” Gabriel asked.
“He’s praying,” Michael replied. It is almost time. You stay here and assist with Jonah’s evacuation while I make a few other preparations.”
“About the ‘evacuation,'” Gabriel said, “You never explained how he was getting out of this thing.”
“Let us just say, you are in for another ‘vurp.'”
“What!? NO!”
“Well, there is the other exit—”
“Vurp it is!”
Michael vanished through the side of Jonah’s beastly transport, just as the belly of the beast began to churn. The walls of their tiny room expanded, then contracted. Gabriel lay down on the still praying prophet, wrapped his arms, legs, and wings around him, and prepared for evacuation.
After several minutes of churning and heaving, Gabriel and Jonah were safely on the shore. Gabriel rose to see his master standing next to a group of onlookers on the beach.
“I see you found a few locals to witness this blessed event,” Gabriel said.
Michael nodded, “I feel a few eyewitness accounts will help lend credibility to the prophet’s message. I am confident that news of this event will spread all the way to Ninevah.”
“Good call,” Gabriel agreed as he shielded the staggering Jonah from a massive wave that would have drowned the weakened prophet. “Hey, wait a second. Don’t these people worship some sort of fish-god?” Gabriel asked.
“Dagon, yes,” Michael smiled.
“So these people probably think their god brought Jonah here.”
“I am sure of it,” Michael said. “And once Jonah begins preaching about the One True God, calling them to repent, he will most assuredly have their full attention.”
“He does think of everything,” Gabriel smiled, shielding Jonah from another barrage of waves.
“Indeed. Now, would you mind giving our subaquatic transport a hand?” Michael asked, signaling to the massive beast that had beached itself in the process.
Gabriel shoved the titanic transport back into the sea. “So long, my friend. I’ll never forget the three days I spent with you, no matter how hard I try.” Gabriel then turned to Jonah, still gasping for air on the seashore. “Now, let’s get you to your assignment. No delays this time.”
“Perhaps we should delay a little while, until our friend can find reasonable raiment.”
“Huh?” Gabriel asked, then realized what Michael was talking about. As Jonah stood up, what little of his clothing that wasn’t digested or shredded along the rocky seashore fell in a heap around the reluctant prophet’s feet, leaving Jonah wearing nothing but a turban of seaweed. “Oh, I see.” Gabriel thought for a moment as he inspected the situation. “I have an idea!”
Gabriel approached Jonah, tapped the prophet’s head, then patted his stomach. Jonah, as if finally aware of his nakedness, removed the seaweed from his head and wrapped it around his waist, like a kelp hula skirt.
“There!” Gabriel smiled as Jonah picked up a piece of driftwood for a walking stick and began walking, accompanied by his angelic escort. “So, how far is Ninevah from here?”
“About two hundred miles.”
“Any way we can fast-track this?”
“No, I believe it would be good for us to chat a little more about grace.” “I had a feeling you’d say that.”
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